self-respect and defense of a bad behavior should not be equated with one another. owning up to your flaws or mistakes and growing from them is true self-respect.
12:55PM: I was nearly backed over by a car. I was walking across a parking lot with my fiancee when the (distracted) driver pulled out of her parking spot at a quick speed. Our shouting, whistling and dodging out of the way was enough for her to keep pulling back further into us.
Despite my fiancee pulling me out of her path, I was still hit in the hip and have some bruising and stiffness today.
I've been in similar situations, but this instance was particularly infuriating--had I been a child, I would have most certainly been swept under the vehicle. And she didn't stop.
12:56 PM: My fiancee approached her window and said something along the lines of "What's the matter with you? Why can't you look before backing up?!"
12:57 PM: To the driver's credit, she looked embarrassed. She apologized meekly, and proceeded to leave. As we proceeded to our truck, her passenger rolled down the window, and told us that "we shouldn't be so mad" and "we're f*cking fine" and "we're trying to start something out of nothing".
The driver looked still more embarrassed. They promptly left.
4:15 PM: two separate clients confided in us about a fellow dance parent who had been badmouthing our company and our policies to others waiting for their children's class to end, making it uncomfortable for our longstanding clients to endure the hour wait.
This was not the first complaint. We asked her to drop her child off rather than wait with the other parents, to avoid recurring drama.
4:17 PM: The dance mom in question, irate, informs us she has "no filter", and has "some self-respect for herself and her daughter", and would not be returning, would be attempting to "elevate the issue legally" (on which grounds, she has none. We granted her a partial tuition refund anyway).
8:50 PM: It was a hell of a day. I sat and reflected on the two instances--neither were singularly uncommon in a metropolitan city nor in the life of a small business director, but in such close conjunction, it led me to a place of deeper clarity on the subject of "self-respect".
A value many of us have, but perhaps do not reflect in our actions, is humility over mistakes. It takes courage, self-awareness, empathy and true mindfulness to break the cycle of defending one's pride or perceived insult after an embarrassing misstep, when in reality, our true conscience often knows we're in the wrong.
The incidents of this day exemplified a trait I've occasionally encountered in others: The equation of pride and ego with self-respect. This couldn't be more wrong.
While each of us may have our varied definition of self-respect, this angle is detrimental to one's personal and social development.
By dismissing an evident wrong or fault in our actions in favor of blinding, often tangential self-defense, we miss an opportunity for self-reflection, and subsequent growth.
The simple act of reflecting on one's actions, especially in moments of embarrassment or guilt, is incrediblly empowering as a tool for understanding our daily impact on the world around us, and how we wish to be perceived in it.
Having once succumbed to this incoherent behavior, I can see how the fearsome vulnerability of admitting a fault can overshadow a subconscious awareness of our mistakes.
Despite my fiancee pulling me out of her path, I was still hit in the hip and have some bruising and stiffness today.
I've been in similar situations, but this instance was particularly infuriating--had I been a child, I would have most certainly been swept under the vehicle. And she didn't stop.
12:56 PM: My fiancee approached her window and said something along the lines of "What's the matter with you? Why can't you look before backing up?!"
12:57 PM: To the driver's credit, she looked embarrassed. She apologized meekly, and proceeded to leave. As we proceeded to our truck, her passenger rolled down the window, and told us that "we shouldn't be so mad" and "we're f*cking fine" and "we're trying to start something out of nothing".
The driver looked still more embarrassed. They promptly left.
4:15 PM: two separate clients confided in us about a fellow dance parent who had been badmouthing our company and our policies to others waiting for their children's class to end, making it uncomfortable for our longstanding clients to endure the hour wait.
This was not the first complaint. We asked her to drop her child off rather than wait with the other parents, to avoid recurring drama.
4:17 PM: The dance mom in question, irate, informs us she has "no filter", and has "some self-respect for herself and her daughter", and would not be returning, would be attempting to "elevate the issue legally" (on which grounds, she has none. We granted her a partial tuition refund anyway).
8:50 PM: It was a hell of a day. I sat and reflected on the two instances--neither were singularly uncommon in a metropolitan city nor in the life of a small business director, but in such close conjunction, it led me to a place of deeper clarity on the subject of "self-respect".
A value many of us have, but perhaps do not reflect in our actions, is humility over mistakes. It takes courage, self-awareness, empathy and true mindfulness to break the cycle of defending one's pride or perceived insult after an embarrassing misstep, when in reality, our true conscience often knows we're in the wrong.
The incidents of this day exemplified a trait I've occasionally encountered in others: The equation of pride and ego with self-respect. This couldn't be more wrong.
While each of us may have our varied definition of self-respect, this angle is detrimental to one's personal and social development.
By dismissing an evident wrong or fault in our actions in favor of blinding, often tangential self-defense, we miss an opportunity for self-reflection, and subsequent growth.
The simple act of reflecting on one's actions, especially in moments of embarrassment or guilt, is incrediblly empowering as a tool for understanding our daily impact on the world around us, and how we wish to be perceived in it.
Having once succumbed to this incoherent behavior, I can see how the fearsome vulnerability of admitting a fault can overshadow a subconscious awareness of our mistakes.
When we give into defensive stubbornness, however, we are rejecting our shared reality with others, creating cognitive dissonance within ourselves, and developing a habit sure to make us unpopular and ignorant of our true selves.
We become who we are, day-to-day, through our habitual behavior. While this particular style of reaction may be hard to change, it is important in times of vulnerability to distinguish who we want to be.
Self-respect is committing to personal development. Honor yourself with mindful, intentional self-reflection and openness to growth--no matter who's saying "it's your fault".
Self-respect is committing to personal development. Honor yourself with mindful, intentional self-reflection and openness to growth--no matter who's saying "it's your fault".